Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
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