isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
