Cold hands, warm shart.
You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
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