You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
I want to be your penis for a week.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
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