Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Randomize