Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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