I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
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