I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Randomize
