Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
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