garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
