i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
