ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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