i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
