i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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