a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize