listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Who died my cat blue again?
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
