just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
