my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
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