it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Randomize
