so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
