The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
