I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
