walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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