Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Randomize
