i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
