Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
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