Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Randomize
