Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Randomize
