Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Randomize
