U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
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