The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
I have grass duct taped all over my body
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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