how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
