Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
operation have a gay friend backfired
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
Randomize
