I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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