so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
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