wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
