Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
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