The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Randomize
