when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
Randomize
