Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
