ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
