what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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