I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
