Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
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