do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
Randomize
