ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
Randomize
