i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize
