I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Randomize
