you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
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