i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
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