don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
Randomize
