I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
it's like iHOP with fire
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
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