He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize
