you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
