Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
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