How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Randomize
