Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
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