I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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