Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
