He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
