yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
MIDGETS
????
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
