i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
It's blow job season.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Randomize
